Showing posts with label Leadership. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Leadership. Show all posts

July 11, 2009

So curious

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Rusty and Snoopy finds something interesting beyond the fence...

There are times when we are so curious about what's it like beyond the other side of the fence.

Now, when we DO go over the fence and have our curiosity satisfied; do you feel that it was worth "jumping" over the fence? Or do you have regrets?

I'll have to admit that I feel like the latter at times but then, you can't turn back time, bla bla... So, I just suck it in and move on.

Life after all is about the journey, not the destination right?

Who knows, after you jump beyond the fence, you might find a pot of gold somewhere....

July 02, 2009

Reflections...

Have you ever taken the time to reflect on yourself?

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Basically, have you taken time to look into your "internal mirror" to see if the person there is who you want to be?

I think this occurred to me as it is already July and most companies are already closing their financial year. Which means.. It's time for those darn review sessions with your boss(s)... Uggghhh...

Lucky for me this year I've sort of escaped it as I've switched jobs.

Nevertheless, I often take time out to see if I've reached my own goals by this time of year, i.e. Resolutions for Year XXXX. But it's never a serious assessment as so much as just a fleeting thought only.

Anyway, after this evening's team meeting, I'm seriously doubting my capabilities as the PM said that my project has to "catch up" due to the delays. Frankly, I feel as though I'm carrying the entire project on my back as my two team members are far too junior to undertake some of the tasks I would like them to do. *sigh*

I try to put this behind me and soldier on but as I do so, I feel that I'm redoing a lot of work when I hand it out. Which is not what I want... Because of that, I'm seriously doubting my technical and leadership abilities.

Ok, rant over. The picture in the mirror is not so pretty but if I draw the mirror with nice doodles and etc, it makes me a bit happier. However, that's not the end result I'm looking for. I still need to find a solution....

December 20, 2008

Women In Technology - Why So Few?

I'm going to cheat here.... As it's a Saturday and some of my pics are not ready yet. :)

Found an old post in my other "defunk" blog... This was written on 24th May 2007 after reading a very interesting post by Amy Fowler. It's a long one... So, get some coffee first!


Wow.. I have chosen BIG words for this post. Not that the words are HUGE or difficult, but the topic that this post is about is more or less something I have been wanting to write for a long while now.

Anyway, this post by Amy Fowler, at java.net has stirred something in me to point out the misconceptions that certain quarters have about the topic I posed on this entry today. This is not a male-bashing post about how they treat women in certain industries or how certain industries are suitable for women only. No, this is clearly about women in technology; about why there are so few of us females in technology-based industries.

It is fortunate or unfortunate to say that there are not many women in IT these days. For one, especially in Malaysia or some parts of Asia, IT is still seen to be a man’s/geek’s world. If you go out to any convention, how many women do you see in the audience? How many women do you see asking technical questions or engage in some interesting technical debate? Perhaps it is our Asian culture at play here, but most Asian women tend to be a bit submissive or soft-spoken. However, when given the chance, some of these women display a technical prowess which can put some male techies to shame. The problem is that they do not know how to find a voice or stage to showcase their talents.

I do recall while at university that as I advanced from one year to the next, I noticed that the number of females around me seem to disappear by 50% or even 70% at times! This was a shock for me, but since I came from a class at high school which had 75% males, I thought to myself that this is a situation I had to get used to.

The same situation occurred when I entered the working force. I started work at a medium-sized IT Systems Integration/Consulting company and found that I was one of three ladies who were in the technical department. The rest were male, of course. Most of our internal applications had forms prep-filled with the gender marked “Male” because the number of males > females. Go figure…

Anyway, my CTO did not have much faith in females as he found them to be a distraction for his staff. However, I was blessed to have very capable female seniors who advised me on how to handle the guys. You may have to work twice as hard as the guys in order to gain recognition, or else, they will just brush you aside. The key thing was to tell them off politely or “roughly” when they ask you to do silly things like asking you about how a form looked based on some colour schemes. Some guys were afraid that we could not do anything at all and were afraid to give out any difficult work. So, we had to fight our way to get challenging tasks our way and when called for, rise to the occasion. Once we proved to the guys that we could do the task at hand, they began to look at us for our abilities rather than at our gender.

At times, the guys accepted us as being one of the guys, so much so that at one point, we were asked to do some heavy lifting. Of course, we did not carry the heaviest things but we did our share of moving the odd CPU (which weighed a few kilograms those days) from site A to B. Anyway, the best part of that working environment was that there was mutual respect - after some re-education for both genders.

Now, the question I’m posing today is why are there so few women in IT technology, especially in Asia? This is a question, very difficult to answer. Perhaps the root of all problems lie in education? Or is it culture?

A lot of young girls feel that to be a computer geek, you lose your sense of being lady-like. How untrue!! Did you know that the very first programmer was a lady named Ava Lovelace? She even had a programming language named after her. She also happened to be the wife and mother too.

In my family, my mother objected to me studying the sciences. I had a love for science ever since I picked up my first science book for kids aged 8-10. When I displayed an early affinity for math (age 4), she encouraged it as it was good for school. However, things changed when I entered high school. Suddenly, my parents started to speak to me about career, marriage and family. They said that I should not pick a “very hard course” because after all, I would end up being a housewife. This was the first time I discovered the Asian gender role dilemma.

Undeterred, I decided to pick up the sciences and eventually completed my degree in Computer Science. :) In fact, after that, my parents encouraged me to take up a Masters in Comp Sc. I declined since I wanted to challenge myself in the corporate world.

So, the first problem that girls face early in their life is that through education or environment factors, they are taught to be put off by science and anything “techie”. I did not start out that way. In fact, I was interested in learning how things work that I used to try to take things apart. I knew that someday, I’ll end up being an engineer or sorts. Of course, I had a HUGE dosage of MacGyver, which fueled my interest in science even more! BTW, I liked MacGyver for the scientific content… I did not think that Richard Dean Anderson was a hunk - unlike many of my friends. LOL!!! :D

As a girl grows up, she is exposed to many pressures in life, including peer pressure. Perhaps that is also another factor as to why girls suddenly drop their interest in science. Other girls taught to hate science are telling other girls to hate science too. To be smarter than a boy in math or science makes you a social pariah in school. This message is continued throughout their adolescence and even adult life!!

I can’t deny that I am also subject to such pressures too. At times, some woman would come up to me saying that I’m too “rough”. I could not help being “rough” as I had to deal with some MCPs at work and they only answered to authority when you were “like the boys”.

I am currently at the stage in my career where I’ve been asked to fill in some leadership positions. Although I do have some “mentors” like Jack Welch and Peter Drucker who are management leadership gurus, I can’t help to think that these are male mentors. I need to search out some female mentors around too. Why? Well, who best to tell you about the ups and downs of being in an mostly-male management team? Women who have been there themselves.

This also got me thinking of another issue as to find out why so few women are in management positions in Asia. I’m not talking about US or Europe as that is not where I am at currently. This is another question I will look into for another time. :)

Now, being in a leadership position, I feel that it is about time I gave back to my fellow females some tips and pointers as how to “survive” in the male-dominated IT world. It may not be easy at times but you have to be persistent and consistent.

  1. Leave your emotions at the door. - This is because any sign of emotions will cloud our judgment to see issues for what they are.
  2. Be decisive. - Give a firm decision and stick by it. Again, look at tip #1. When you start getting emotions in, that’s when we fail to make a firm decision and may look wishy-washy to others.
  3. Be brave. - There will be times when we are asked to do difficult tasks. Look at it this way, women has a higher threshold of pain than men. Heck! We can give birth and still walk after all that pain!
  4. Speak Up. - Ever seen how guys size up to each other. In order to not get lost in the crowd, learn to speak a bit “louder”, i.e. more assertive. I have a friend with a very loud voice. At times, even at her normal range, she sounds like she is commanding an army. ;)
  5. Learn to ask for help. - There are times when we feel overwhelmed with something, there is no shame in asking for help. If someone thinks that this is a sign of weakness, it is a sign that they have a closed mind.
  6. Learn to share. - We are not living on an island. Yes, its a competitive world, but you have nothing to lose if you learn to share information with one another. Some females tend to be territorial and hence, does not want to share information with one another.
  7. Learn to laugh. - There will be times that we’ll face an MCP who will make snide remarks. As much as we would like to see him pay for that snide remark, no amount of punishment will suffice for they will never learn. If possible, make a sarcastic remark about him to remind him that he has a mother… or does he?
  8. Sharpen that “saw”. - Constantly seek new challenges or study new things. Idleness is the rot of intelligence and it would be ashamed to easily declare that we no longer need to read because we’re mothers/wives/etc… Frankly, a high number of females will not read anything other than those large glossy magazines with how-to articles. Pick up an intellectual book once in a while.
  9. Don’t give up. - Good words to live by. ;)
  10. Celebrate you. - Words from Oprah Winfrey rings true. Remember that you are unique and you’re a person although you are a career-woman/girlfriend/wife/mother/grandmother…

This has been a very very long article. I happen to be one of the few women in IT and would like to hear your opinions, and experiences too. Perhaps, I may be wrong about the number of women in technology. We are part of the 50% of the workforce who contribute to using/creating technology everyday. We have graduated from being clerical/secretarial staff who know how to type a few letters/reports to actual engineers who design the very software which does this. So, it is a time to be proud of being one of the few women in technology.


After reading Carly Fiorina's book I saw some similarities when it comes to dealing with males in any industry. There will always be discrimination of sorts anywhere you go; we just have to buck up and face it!

If you don't know who Carly Fiorina is, she was once a CEO of a top Fortune 20 company some years back.

November 10, 2008

Nightmare Colleagues?

If you have noticed from my blog, I'm a big geek. The reason why I am so, is not because of the thick glasses (made slim by a wonderful technology called High-Index Plastic); but because of my job scope.

I'm currently a team lead working in some IT company in KL, supposed to be working on some mid-level management stuff (without the title); but deep down, I'm still a techie developer at heart.

I've seen many young developers come and go; worked with many seniors within the technical scope and have seen my fair bit of personalities while at a job or project.

This article about When Good Developers Go Bad, certainly sparked something in me to write this article.

Now, a common assumption or "mis-assumption" of folks about IT workers in general is that, we all tend to be loners, unfriendly, introverted, and some what know-it-all cocky geeks but not all are like that. In fact, just like people in all other industries, our career choice does not govern our personality traits; nor does the personality trait govern what type of jobs we do.

Ironically, I've met folks in the IT industry who are the complete opposite stereotype of what people perceive an IT worker is.

Anyway, I digress.. as usual. (^___^)

So, you're working in a large IT corporation. You will bound to meet someone who has the following traits:
  • Cocky/Arrogant
  • Show-Off
  • Unhelpful
  • Highly Critical
  • Highly Argumentative
  • Illogical - strange but true...
This type of individual likes to boast about how great their code is, how lousy everyone else's code is, and how; if management were to just see his wonderful-ness, he would change the very way we work, i.e. be a complete jerk and hire other jerks like himself to run the show.

I have this colleague, whom I coin as the "The Village Idiot" as he's someone who loves to challenge weaker members of the team and then; put them down by saying that they're lousy and should just go and die. Whenever he gets a little bit of praise, he'll shout to the heavens (and hell) about his awesome greatness.... *rolls eyes*

Now, whenever a significant challenging task which he has to pick up DOES APPEAR, we often like to shove the "crap" to him with the remark such as "You're so smart-mah, you go and solve the issue-lah...". To which, if he sees that he can't handle it, he'll scoff and say, "This one is not my level.. I don't deal with such problem one..." **rolls eyes more**

In terms of reporting to him, I have been so unlucky not to experience that. However, one of my junior team mates has and it was a nightmare. His brilliance was so overpowering that he kept changing his designs on the fly; confusing the junior member to the point that he nearly wanted to "take out" his supervisor. Due to the constant change, the junior member couldn't deliver his work on time; causing "The Village Idiot" to make remarks such as, "You are so lousy. So simple thing you cannot deliver-ar?"

I couldn't intervene then as it was just out of my scope but ultimately, decided that his leadership skills were not up to par and so, minimized his contact with the other junior members of the team. I feared that should he work with more junior members, he will demotivate more than motivate them to do better.

So, I'm trying out a workaround as suggested by the book "No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't"; i.e. minimize his contact and give him assignments only he himself can complete.

Do you have any nightmare colleague stories to share?

Ohhh... In addition to his cockiness, "The Village Idiot" in my team thinks that he speaks the Queen's English after spending 1 year in the UK. His latest Facebook status states that "Economy very bad, have to tighten bell..." (^___^)

November 12, 2007

Rising To The Challenge

It's the start of another week. Should I dread it?

Perhaps not.

For, the start of another day means a new, clean slate to do something. This is the hope we have to give ourselves each day. Living one day at a time. (^ ^)

My last post talked about the new change I had to face. So, after accepting that change, I have decided to rise up to the challenge. Even though I may get knocked down from time to time. However, that should not stop me from meeting the challenge. Because, some of those knocks are just temporary setbacks.

I'm no wuss.

I hope I don't whine too much. Because this new change is an opportunity knocking on my door. Even though it may seem like I'm facing a major stumbling block for now.

I have faith and enough confidence in myself to succeed through this trying time.

"Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill

November 09, 2007

Friday.. But I'm Not In That "Friday" Mood

This will be a two-part post. This is because I've not completely figured out what I want to write about... In fact, I've not figured out the topic at all. Anyway, I hope by the end of the 2nd post, it would be much clearer.

Well, it has been a pretty busy time for me for the last 2-3 weeks due to some new changes at work.

No.... It's not something drastic but it has to do with the ability to embrace and accept change.

Change is not always easy. There is an amount of adjustment one makes to the new change. And the ability to adjust to that change is probably determined by our personality and flexibility. Besides that, it takes an inner strength to embrace change.

Change is also part of life. Everything changes. From the time we were born, we are always changing/evolving. So, we can't say that there is no change in life. It is always there.

Anyway, for the last couple of weeks, I've been battling/adjusting to change at work. I do not want to elaborate too much but all I can say is that there is a void now, and I'm part of the few people asked to fill that void. The void is not a simple one, as it involves some new leadership.

There is some sadness in this change and hence, my mood today.

All I can say is that I am coping with it, learning to adjust to it as I go along. :-)

Hope you folks have a good weekend! I'll try to update more when I have the time. :-P

October 31, 2007

Extremely Tiring Weekend

First of all, Happy Halloween!!!! Of course, we don't "celebrate" Halloween officially in M'sia but am wishing it to all those who do...

I was away during the weekend for my company's team building event @ Genting. Nope, I DID NOT go up there to wish Uncle Lim bye-bye... -____-" However, the thought did occur to some of us. ^____^

The team building event was an event many of us looked forward to because not only we got to go somewhere on the company's expense but it gave us the chance to bond and socialize with our other colleagues whom we didn't necessarily speak to in the office during our regular workday. Certainly, this was the time we got to know people better. And it was fun!

I can't post all my 242 pictures in my blog, and so, I'll just post a few which were quite memorable. (^_^)

Day 1 Activities
- Some indoor games
- Walk-Hunt
- Night War Game

Fish pond... 1 of the clues for the "walk-hunt"

Another fish pond???!! Which one is the clue??

My team's tower.

Let's pasang the "antenna" made of straws...

This is the clubhouse we go to when we have our indoor sessions, makan, etc...

Day 2 Activities
- Some more indoor games
- Outdoor rope games

Day 2 was a lot more fun as it involved some outdoor stuff. I didn't participate due to a bad knee but managed to run around to take lots of photos. Hence the 200+ photos in my camera... (^_^)

Find your way out of the web...

Do you trust your team members to catch you when you fall?

Do you have the strength as a team to scale this wall?

I certainly enjoyed myself over the weekend. It was a lot of fun. I managed to interact with different people from the company and had plenty of laughs. There were a few funny videos being captured especially during the "Bollywood Dance" contest. Hahaahaha...

Besides that, underlying the entire weekend, we learned to communicate and work together as a group. We are all linked in a chain and when we're united, we're stronger! :-P

September 24, 2007

You Had 4 Days Rest...

2 minutes to go before Monday officially ends. Aren't we glad that we can finally put Monday behind us?

Well... I woke up to slightly stiff knees this morning and contemplated working from home... again. Sure, I thought about going off to work but the thought of driving through the long journey (even in my automatic car) for about 2hrs (to-and-fro), just about turned me off.

I've been battling my knees (sprained/swollen ligament) knees for nearly a month now. At first, I tried the knee support. It did help but there were good an bad days. With the knee guard, I drove off to work, also elevated my feet (alternate if for a day since I don't have stools or cushions to support) while working. So, for about 1/2 a day, I felt relief on one leg, while the other had some pain. I was supposed to get ice packs, where I'm sitting was too far away from the pantry to put my ice-pack. Hence, I did not do the ice treatment during the day.

I thought about taking LRT but recalled that I still have to do a lot of walking, worse still, I probably have to stand all the way along the whole 45-minute journey to/from work.

So, after about 1.5 weeks, I went to the physiotherapist to get some relief. I endured the pain for the rest of the working week until Saturday when I had my time off to go see her. After the session, I got some relief but I still could not walk down the stairs without wincing in pain. It was then that I found out that my knee ligaments were swollen as the physio felt some lumps at the inside-facing part of my knees. *Sigh*

The good thing was that my physio taught me some good knee exercises and I did it religiously. So much so that I hope that my knee and thighs are getting a workout despite me not going to the gym for a while.

This was when I did the mistake.

I went back and decided to apply heat therapy and there were times it worked, there were times it didn't. Whenever it did work, I felt relief from pain and also my knees were not stiff. For the last 2 weeks, I was still driving to work. I tried to avoid as much walking as possible but when you're at the office, you have no choice. You can't just ask your colleague to go get water and stuff for you. They're busy with work. Anyway, I should take care of myself.

Snoopy's "injured" as well..

Nope. I wasn't looking for any pity. I walked as much as I could, even when it was painful, I still kept cheerful.

So, right up until last Thursday, I went to work. I walked slower than any other person's grandma, drove slower than the 10-tonne lorry because my knee was in pain, and suffered the itchy side effects of having eczema because I was wearing the tubi-grip full-time. I decided to just work from home.

I was in pain. No painkillers for me. Don't want to rely on medicines too much.

I discussed insurance options with HR and found out that I still had to go back to the panel doctor for a recommendation letter. I hate panel doctors, especially the one nearby as the doctor didn't seem to care about the patients, only about how much he can earn from them. He drives a fxxking gold-coloured, 2-seater, Mercedes SLK. Go figure.

Anyway, I was rushing some stuff out and had to keep my @ss at home. So, despite the pain. I churned out something which hopefully satisfied the customer.

Finally, while my parents was at the pharmacist asking about something, they told him about my predicament. He prescribed some anti-inflammatory medication and gel for my leg. It worked.

Woo hoo... By Saturday, I could walk almost normally. Went out for a bit of lunch but dare not drive. Felt bad asking my Mom to drive me around when it should be the other way around. After that little outing, I was grounded for the rest of the weekend, just to rest my legs/knees.

Come Monday, I didn't want to risk going through the cycle of rest/stress on my knees again. I informed my team lead that I would like to work from home. He said that if it still hurts, I should go and see the doctor. He said something to the effect of "no", that the company frowns on the policy of working from home. He said that besides I had 4 days of rest.

WTF....

I went off to do some stuff and came back to tell him that I would be taking EL (Emergency Leave).

He said that he would let it slide this time.

*Sigh*

I stood my ground. If he had wanted to let it slide, he should have suggested it before I put up the suggestion of taking EL. I told him, it's ok, I'll just take the EL and went offline. I was supposed to be "resting".

Out of this whole entire thing, I've learned a few things:

1. I have small knees - hence the reason why I'm at the gym, working my @ss off despite a tiring day so that I lose weight.
2. Heat therapy worsens sprains. One should use cold packs always - apply for 15-20 minutes every 2-3hrs.
3. You know how well your company treats you when you get sick.
4. You know how well your boss feels about the team when you get sick.
5. You learn about your bosses' "principles" when you have problems such as these, i.e. do you have a boss who will fight for you or would rather advise you to not cause any trouble?
6. You learn how it feels like to be a person who is suffering leg problems or don't have legs at all.
7. If you have to wear a tubi-grip and you're an eczema sufferer, be prepared to tackle the eczema problem as well.
8. Never say, "At least you can get well over the weekend" when someone falls sick over the weekend. It doesn't sound cool, because nobody likes to get sick over the weekend and besides, aren't we allowed to utilize our sick leave days?

This post is really long... But its the entire story about my knees. Thanks for reading it, if you got this far. (^ ^)

It's almost time for me to get to bed as I have to get to work tomorrow. Wish me luck.

September 11, 2007

Ethical Entrepeneurship

I just got news that Anita Roddick, the founder of BodyShop has just passed away yesterday.

She struck me as an inspiration as someone who was an ethical entrepreneur who not only started her own business but was able to use her business as a platform for world issues such as environmental concerns, women's issues and children's causes.

When BodyShop first opened in M'sia, I was rather excited since I was interested in the environment to learn that there is a cosmetics establishment which cared for the environment. The shop was different as the staff explained that the products were not tested on animals and that they do not encourage people to take a bag when they bought things unless necessary. My mom used to go back to the shop to get refills on some of the products as they encouraged recycling.

Later on, my sis joined their organization and she told me that the staff were shown videos of how animals were slaughtered for cosmetics products as well as how animal testing was conducted. She said many people had tears in their eyes after watching the video.

Anyway, it is heart-warming to note that there are entrepreneurs out there who feel that their business can give back to the community. Certainly, she is not one of the first business leader who became a philantrophist but she used her business as a platform to spread awareness and fight against world issues.

God Bless Her and her family.
Note: this entry was written in green as it is a green post.

Image source: here
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