April 16, 2007

Staying Positive

I have been trying to write this post for a while, but did not have the time to collect my thoughts.

I am sure that many people has ask you this question before, "Are you happy?"

Certainly, we all joke, "Yes! Very!!" or "If you don't see me stick a gun to my head today, I should be happy-la..."

Anyway, in my humble opinion, this notion of happiness is only relative. This is because while we may seem happy at what we have, but when we start to compare with others, we may end up not being very happy after all.

I would prefer to be asked, "are you feeling positive today?". This is because, a happy person may look happy on the outside, but inside, would be very negative about the world. I am sure everyone is like this at some point or another, due to the circumstances we face everyday.

Frankly, I'll have to admit that I'm a negative/pessimistic person, by default. This is strange because a lot of people say I'm a jovial and bubbly character. However, when things go south, my negative "beast" tends to rear its very ugly head. I guess that this is me being reactive instead of taking a step back to adjust properly towards the situation at hand.

The symptoms I've noticed is that I tend to complain alot about things to the point some people say that I'm whining. Besides that, some people said that I tend to mention a lot of negative things too and that demotivate others.

Remember the saying that "Misery attracts company"? I believe my negative actions have also caused like-minded people to come to me and together, we stew in our negative, toxic soup. At first, the other person is looking for sympathy and understanding from like-minded people who are undergoing some sort of rough spot at work or at a personal level. However, after a while, the negative, toxic stew takes a toll on our energies and we end up feeling drained and depressed. Sure, it is ok to b*tch about things but best not to take it too far.

So, the issue here is taking some action on stopping this negative toxicity I tend to manufacture from time to time. In short, I'm trying to find out why I tend to be so whinny and b*tch a lot about things, when it goes wrong/bad.

One of the manners is finding out the root cause of why I'm so negative. I notice that I tend to go off like a "broken record" when I complain and so, that is one way in which I may spiral out of control and be totally negative and whinny. Sure, it is ok to complain but I've got to learn to know how to stop.

So, to address this, I am starting to think very carefully when I want to complain about things. Of course, this does not mean bottling up emotions and etc., but finding another positive outlet to rechannel my energies. However, this does not mean that I'm going to turn into a pussycat, not willing to stand up for my rights and etc. We all need to release our frustrations in one way or another, the important thing is not to let it go too far.

I find that by taking a step back, and trying to think the positive side of things, the negative thoughts go away. Of course, being a bit hot-headed and a pessimist by default, this is a very hard thing to do. Although, it is hard, it is not entirely impossible.

I've been reading/listening/watching a lot of motivational material and to stay positive, it all boils down to a few key items:
  • Nobody can make you happy but yourself
  • Don't let worry eat you inside out
  • Laugh often (have a sense of humour)
  • Visualize and project positive thoughts
It is all about having a proper mental adjustment towards the situation at hand.

I still remember a good video of the famous "Bus Uncle" in HK, who said, "你有 压力, 我有 压力!!" which literally translated to "
You have pressure, I have pressure!".

I'll write more about those 4 points in the future, but for now, just think positive thoughts.

If you have watched the "Pursuit of Happyness", you'll know what I mean. It is an uplifting film, and it has certainly opened my eyes. If you thought that it was a comedy of sorts, you are dead wrong. It is about being positive in our pursuit of "happyness" and to each person, it is different.

Think positive, stay positive. (^_^)

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